Archive for the ‘Nursing Profession’ Category

Disaster Relief: What a Relief!

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Disaster: Day One

Cil Burke BSN

Driving through the night into a heavily populated area with the electricity off  is an eerie experience.

That’s what it was like as we drove into New Jersey on day 1 after Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc.  It was dark.  It was cold.  Did I mention is was dark and cold outside the warm cab of our truck?  Though there were many cars on the road, it felt as if we were on the moon or some other uninhabited planet.

Thanks Flemington for the Sign

We realized quickly our plans for staying at or near the initial staging site on Long Island wasn’t going to happen-they weren’t ready for us.  We tried to find a hotel with electricity that wasn’t full-none to be had on Long Island or the Newark region of NJ. And they have  lotsa hotels….

We were almost to Pennsylvania on I-78 before we found the last room in a hotel that had just had power restored as we walked in the door-this was 75 miles from the coast.  The folks at the Marriott near Newark International-where we initially stopped to get our bearings- couldn’t have been more helpful. Their hotel was full of stranded travelers-but only had minimal lights from generators.  Just walking to the bathroom through dark halls  was surreal.  At least the toilets flushed.

The further west we drove, a few lights began to appear.  At our hotel’s exit, there was actually a convenience store with lights.  We later ate our dinner from the prepackaged sandwiches from this same store.  It was the only  choice we could find.  The large generator humming at a ear searing decibel level out front was the source of the electricity for the lights, refrigeration and fuel pump.  The line of cars waiting to fuel up wound down the dark street-we couldn’t see the end.

Cars lined up for blocks waiting to fuel up became a common every day sight for the next two weeks.

Friendships

Sandy really did  a number on the northeast.

It’s very strange, but our friends ask things like, did you see the reports about…?   But, no, we saw nothing reported by the media-we had no TV/media exposure for almost three weeks-I did a search for the Presidential winner on my iPad Wednesday morning after the election.

Instead of media’s version, we  talked to people who were living this tragedy first hand.  We saw the aftermath of the flooding  and damaging winds.

As anyone who has seen devastation up close knows, the pictures do not do destruction justice.  Houses that were not knocked down, merely flooded, look so normal from the street.  A closer look reveals the dark line 3, 5 even 10 feet from the ground-the high water mark-confirming the story behind the pile of rubble at the curb.

One personal story feels like a microcosm of the devastation.  One of ‘our nurses’, and I do think of them as ‘ours’, gave us many nights of compassionate work at one of our first aid sites.  She’s one of those people who makes a great nurse.  People just seem to feel better when they talked to her-she had a ready smile and a word of support for everyone.

It was COLD!

It was a couple of weeks before her electricity was back on and even the intermittent generator powered heat we offered at our first aid site was appreciated-”Better than I have at home” she stated with a laugh in her voice.  She kept going to her day job even though she’d lost everything and was having to meet with assessors at odd hours.   Her employer needed her and she needed the distraction, so she made it all work-sleep be damned.

Her car seemed to work OK, but flooded cars are dangerous and she would have to stop driving it.  What would she do then?  She said that of all the things she’d lost, it was when she put her soaked, mildewy sofa out at the street….that really hurt, brought it all home.

She’d thought, dreamed, and studied long and hard, saved and planned before she bought that sofa.  Now it was smelly curbside rubble .  “When will I ever be able to replace it?” she asked  no one in particular.

Dark, windy, cold and snowy nights with a generator humming loudly in the background make such statements even more stark.

We met many  really good people in the last month-making real friends.   We also learned some things during our stay in the northeast.

  • When you don’t have electricity, the traffic lights don’t work.  That is very scary. In Georgia, people treat dead traffic lights as a four way stop, in New York it’s just a challenge for who is going through the intersection the fastest.
  • When most places don’t have power or telephone, you become resourceful.  The small business owner who doesn’t normally make name tags?  Well, actually they really can.  Laura at the Sign Source in Brentwood, Long Island was great.
  • The UPS store, close to one of our first aid sites, did a rush job for something we needed. The owner was helpful, gave  great suggestions, and was generally just a good guy.
  • The Nassau Coliseum parking lot on Long Island is very windy.  Always.
  • Long Island is appropriately named.  Very. Ask my truck almost 5000 miles later….
  • Long Island has lot’s and lot’s of people-and traffic.
  • Small airports make great staging sites.  Very roomy with all the paved runways-but you are always looking up wondering if someone up their may not realize the airport is closed…..
  • Generators are wonderful. And loud. They make you hoarse because every conversation is a shout… And they run out of fuel  in the middle of very cold nights-it is written….
  • RV stands for recreational vehicle.  When you live in one for any length of time, say for more than a day, they become trailers.  ‘Trailer’ is a bad word in my vocabulary.  Lester from RV Land has become a friend-keeping the water running and the heat on.
  • Tents can be cold or they can be warm.  It all depends on the heaters and the generators and how big your coat is.  My coat was not big enough.
  • Yes, beef roast out of an aluminum pan above a sterno can is some of the best food I’ve eaten.  How do those cooks do that?
  • Nurses, even those whose homes have been flooded, are wonderful people.  They give and give and give to those who are working hard to help others.

Someone asked if we’d be taking a vacation when we returned home and weren’t doing ‘relief work’ anymore.  I quickly realized going back to my day job would be a vacation.  I’m back to work at my real job but my heart and frequently my head is with those I met the last few weeks in New York and New Jersey.

To all of those who continue to dig out:  may your generator continue humming and your coat keep you warm until something better comes along.  And it will.

Nurses and Coaching and Life

Sunday, October 28th, 2012

Coaches and Nurses?

By Cil

From the first hello, it feels as if you’ve known some people for years.  Naomi D. Jones of Consults Unlimited, Inc., and I were like that.  She has a terrific website I visited after she posted an intriguing message on Linkedin.  After a few emails, we finally got together by phone so I could quiz her about her coaching career.  From the very first words, we were like old friends even though we’ve not actually met in person.  I suspect she’s like that with most people, a trait that would make her an excellent coach.

Free Leadership Coaching Webinar

With her years of leadership experience, this nurse coach has put together a webinar, The Leaders Journey, From Mindset to Impact,  that focuses on the leaders in our midst.  Nurse leaders who are open to change.  This free webinar is scheduled for December 11, 2012 at 7PM ET.

Why Seek out a Professional or Life Coach?

Naomi says that “Coaches help people try to figure out how to be their best.  They help people deal with stressful situations better than they could on their own.”  Coaches develop relationships that help people move forward both professionally and personally.

Who benefits the most from enlisting a coach?

From Naomi and from some internet research at Nurse Together, I found that this is really a question of who is ready to be coached?   It is much easier to complain about a situation than to actually make a change.  So, who is ready to seek out a mentor, coach, or someone to help make that next step? Someone who is:

  • Ready for change.  You recognize change is better than where you are and forward is where you want to go.
  • Willing to change.  Again, it’s easy to not like where you are, but being willing to take painful steps to change is very hard.
  • Open to examination of why forward movement isn’t happening.  Yikes, this can be really hard if it’s personal stuff.
  • Honestly looking at what is going on personally and professionally.  Again, that may mean recognizing personal traits we don’t want to deal with.
  • Motivated.  So you accept it’s time to change, you understand there is a problem, but do you truly have the motivation to take steps that lead to change?

How to find that just right person to help you move ahead?

A good coach:

  • Doesn’t have to know more than you to be helpful to you, it involves a connection.
  • Isn’t a friend, that’s why BFF’s aren’t always a good choice.
  • Doesn’t take credit for your progress, they are guides not sheep herders.
  • Doesn’t work in the past.  It’s forward movement all the way.

What to expect:

  • Your coach is your champion, they believe in you.
  • They should be good listeners
  • Be prepared for a kick in the pants when you need it.
  • Idea sharing.

Naomi began her career as a home health aid, progressed to LPN, then RN and has her Master’s in Health Administration.  She put it all together and became a Certified Life Coach to use her years of experience to help others.  With her many years in leadership positions, she feels a particular affinity for that area of coaching.

Nurses find themselves in positions for which they were never trained in nursing school. Many nurses go straight into finding Los Angeles nursing jobs or other big city nursing jobs, but don’t mentally prepare for the challenges ahead. There, almost the entire curriculum centers on deepening ones knowledge of the science of health care.  From the foundation courses of anatomy and physiology to obstetrics and gerontology, the focus is patient care.  Nurses routinely leave the bedside care that is the focus of  their school texts and enter leadership roles.  What then?

Coaches can help.

Are you a nurse

  • Enduring a stressful job situation?
  • Wanting to move your career forward into a leadership position?
  • In a leadership position but you’ve lost the joy of leading?

Naomi D. Jones can help.  She can be found through her website, Consults Unlimited Inc., Linkedin, or her blog, Life Coach RN.  She keeps her nursing and management skills active working for a major home care company.

This mother of 4 who loves to travel, read and be a nurse leader is excited about her upcoming webinar:  The Leader’s Journey, From Mindset to Impact, December 11, 2012.  Naomi’s deep well of compassion and the leadership skills she has developed will give depth and meaning to this seminar.

She has a very positive, well done website you might want to check out.

She’s fun and it shows at her site.

There are so many nurses out there who are looking for change.  You’re all over Linkedin and Twitter.  Are you one of them?  Are you looking for change?

Angela Savage: A Nurse With A Passion For Wounds!

Sunday, October 14th, 2012

A Wound is Born

We love to visit a small Florida Coastal community that is a warren of islets and tidal marshes whose flora and fauna fascinate us as much as the local population.  We’ve written about our favorite bar that shares space with a restaurant and is a hub of activity in the quiet.   As we settled in to ride our bikes home at the end of an evening of dominoes, conversation, darts and exotic beers, I lead with my right knee as I crashed into the asphalt.

The incident has come to be called my ‘BUI’ in my island folk tales.  Biking under the influence was not too smart and I paid the price with a wounded knee.  I was humiliated and embarrassed but able to pick myself up from the pavement with blood flowing onto my strappy sandals and proceed to bike home, slightly more sober for my pain.

Wounds come in all shapes and sizes:

  • Cuts and scrapes, (embarrassing and otherwise)
  • Major surgery
  • Insect bites
  • Dog bites

The list of possible interruptions of skin integrity is endless. No big deal.  Our bodies’ defenses wield a mighty shield and the healing process wins.

What Happens When a Wound Doesn’t Heal?

For a multitude of reasons, a seemingly simple wound can become a life threatening event.  Wounds of any kind are especially troubling for those who have:

  • Chronic conditions requiring treatment with immune suppressing drugs
  • Chronic conditions such as diabetes
  • Any condition that compromises the circulatory system.

And many other conditions, including infection by an organism for which there is no known treatment.

Wound Specialist

Angela Savage, RN,WCC,CWCA,DAPWCA,AACCWS

Angela Savage is one of the nurses whose professional focus is to treat these wounds that have become problematic.  So many procedures in medicine cause an interruption in the integrity of the skin so wound care is a major concern to medical institutions of all sorts.  As our society ages and grows more obese and more people live linger with chronic illness, the problem of wound care will also increase.  It is already a huge problem and keeps wound care specialists like Angela on the go.  Her passion for her job is evident.  She is ready pretty much 24/7 to share the expertise she has developed over her 15 years in the field.    When you have a problem, why not get help from an expert?

Unless you’ve had a chronic wound or know someone who has, you might not have heard of this important area of the medical field.  It is not a glamorous segment of nursing, but it is growing and the need is great.  Angela reports there is plenty of work for the too few nurses who have expertise in wound care.

Why so Few Nurses in Wound Care?

When I asked this, Angela responded, “There is not a ‘wound care’ bible.  There are resources, and there are groups and societies to reach out to, but each wound needs individual attention and response.  Nurses are analytical and like a prescribed regimen to follow and that’s not what you do in wound care.”

Angela says she learns everyday and knows more each time she cares for a wound.  She has cared for wounds at all stages and depths. The skin and its immune response is as individual and different as there are people on the planet.  Angela has the expertise and ‘feel’ for wound care that can only come with years of experience.  She treats according to what she sees.

Nursing?  Wound Care?

Angela Savage never saw nursing, much less wound care, as her future passion.  After editing her high school yearbook, she went to the University of her home state of Iowa as a journalism major. She was on track to write about wounds, not treat them. Her snowboarding team mates surely did not see wound care in Angela’s future, either.

When she finally went the nursing route, even early in her career, her gut feeling about wounds and their care captured her interest and she became the de facto floor ‘wound care’ nurse.  Now she is not only over several hospital wound care programs, she developed some of them and takes call for those she’s trained.

Wound Care Nurses

Angela has a day job with a physician with whom she runs a private clinic.  Additionally, she assists, takes calls for assistance and generally oversees the care of wounds from an extended network.  Her base is in Denver, where there are very few nurses in this field considering the emerging need.  Angela considers this is a wide open field for the nurses and suggested these niche areas for the wound care nurse entrepreneur:

  • Educators
  • Inventors
  • Innovators of Apps
  • Research
  • Burns
  • Combine any of the above

For the nurse who is interested in this emerging field, there are a multitude of resources and it’s one of the areas that has benefited tremendously from social media.  Angela maintains a Facebook page focused on educating and increasing awareness of the resources available.  She tweets and re-tweets  as @nursesavage  with information to expand the available wound care knowledge base.

Obviously, Angela loves what she does and chooses to give willingly of her time and expertise.  The evening we chatted, she had spent the day assisting with Denver’s annual ‘Project Homeless’.

This humanitarian event provides volunteers who offer care to the Denver homeless in a variety of areas.  The day is given to educating, treating, offering support and attempting to make a difference in this needy population.  Caring for the homeless is another one of Angela’s passions, and she gives as much time as she can.

Nurse Entrepreneurs

Wound care is not glamorous or precise but unfortunately it is a growth industry.  Another edge a nurse would have if they chose this area to pursue is Angela Savage.  She is ready to lend a hand not only with the education she offers at her Facebook page and through Twitter, but personally.  She has an extensive profile on Linkedin. She exemplifies a nurse who has seen a need and is giving her all to make a difference.

Do you have questions about wound care?  Do you need an expert in this area?  Have you thought about this segment of nursing?  Do you have a wound care story?

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Need Help Finding Thousands in Missing Money?

Sunday, September 16th, 2012

Missing Money

By Cil Burke BSN

In the United States there are:

  • $33 billion in unclaimed estate funds.
  • $197 billion in unclaimed pension funds.
  • $16 billion in unredeemed savings bonds.

Why?  Why is that? Better yet, what can you and I do about finding money that is owed to us?

Mary Pitman

Mary Pitman, RN

One of the tropical forces that blew through the Gulf this summer was Hurricane Isaac.   For several days just prior to land fall, Pensacola, Florida was the center of Isaac’s trajectory.

Dean and I are part of a company that finds the medical personnel to staff the medical team for a disaster relief company.  As Isaac loomed, we got a call to prep a team to man first aid sites when landfall occurred in the Pensacola area.

Through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and personal phone calls, we added to a database of nurses willing to drop everything.

Mary Pitman was one of the first nurses to respond to the call.  She had great credentials with many years of experience in critical care and offered help in finding others.

As we were reviewing Mary Pitman’s background, something caught our eye.  In addition to her nursing background, she had published a book related to personal finance.

It was a fascinating coincidence.

Sure, I needed to fine tune a list of supplies we’d need, prepare various contracts and of course, field a gazillion phone calls.  In addition, there were all the things that had been planned before Isaac was more than a strong breeze off the western coast of Africa.

But, Mary Pitman was a nurse entrepreneur with a very interesting thing going on and I spent a few minutes looking over her website.

As soon as Isaac did his thing I wanted to know more about what she was doing.

So, this past weekend while attending a convention of fellow personal finance writers, Mary and I connected by phone.

Finding Lost Money

Mary shares that “When a coworker told me that someone had offered to help her find ‘lost money’, for a fee of course, I was determined to prove it was just a scam.

No way would there be thousands of unclaimed dollars!”

Not only did Mary learn there are large amounts of unclaimed money out there, she found some for herself.

Thousands.

Mary’s quest for lost money began as a hobby that helped to pass the time on slow night shifts.

As her experience grew, this nurse entrepreneur turned her hobby, finding unclaimed money for friends and co-workers, into a book:

The Little Book of Missing Money

It’s filled with great stories of money she has found for others and how you can do it yourself.

Available in print and various ebook formats, you can purchase one at her website:  The Little Book of Missing Money 

Suze Meets Mary

There’s a great video of Mary’s guest appearance on a Suze Orman television show at the website.  You’ll want to go take a peak.   How did Suze Orman and Mary Pitman come together?  ….Here’s the back story.

A few years ago, Mary did her magic and found that Suze Orman had thousands in unclaimed money.

When Mary discovered that Suze would be at a nearby event, Mary bought a ticket and got to the venue early enough to catch the blonde Orman before the show.  Mary piqued the finance gurus interest with “I found missing money for you!”

It turns out that Orman had also never heard of ‘missing money’ and was as skeptical as Mary had been.  Stopped in her tracks, she looked at the list of debtors and with wide eyes exclaimed, “These companies owe me money!”   With amazement, she told Mary to get in touch and join her as a guest on her show.  After only a long year of persistence and amazing cleverness, Mary finally appeared on America’s Money Class with Suze Orman.

Mary the Writer

Mary’s passion for uncovering lost money evolved into the book and the website.

She says, “I was working as a nurse and not satisfied, and decided to do what I really love:  write.

So, I graduated from Georgia State University in Atlanta, and have been developing my writing skills“.   In the last few years, her blossoming talent has landed her some plum spots at various workshops designed to assist accomplished writers in developing and fine tuning their work.

She has other works in progress, as all entrepreneurs do, and will be publishing another book and even an inspirational CD.

Talking to Mary Pitman is like talking to a whirl wind.  She has lot of ideas and is making them happen as she builds on her experience in writing and publishing.  The likes to garden, meditate and is a bowler.  She enjoys life and admits to being an awful bowler, “But, hey, it’s fun!”

Asked what she would recommend to others who have an idea that they want to develop, she answered without equivocation, “Write an ebook.  Anyone can do it and it’s a great way to explore your passion.”

Reader Questions:

Do you think you could have unclaimed money?

Do you know how to get started looking for it?  Do you have a book deep inside that needs to be written?

Cil Burke BSN

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They’re Your Medical Records, Too

Sunday, August 19th, 2012

Medical Records-Important only when you need them

About 5 years ago some good friends of ours were enjoying a fantastic vacation out west.  Ready for a real adventure, they embarked in a motor home to see the sights their careers had prevented them from visiting when they were younger.  They had poured over maps and internet sites to tweak the details of this first in a life time journey.  The first week was right out of a Fodor’s travel guide.  Fun and relaxation!

Michelle Mourre, RN

Eight days in to the trip, he got up in the middle of the night with indigestion that left him weak, shaky, sweaty and nauseated.

When his wife of only a few years, second marriages for both, woke up and saw his ghastly pallor, the nurse in her diagnosed a heart attack.  She swears she didn’t panic when she realized it was the middle of the night in a crowded RV Park thousands of miles from home and family and her husband’s physician.

To this day, my friend shudders when she thinks about the reckless drive on a dark summer night to a ranger station for directions to a rural hospital.  She doesn’t see humor in recalling all the details of her husband’s health history she did not know, or how quickly one forgets little things like daily medications or allergies when faced with the possibility of death.

Medixbase-medical record system- to the rescue

Talking with Michelle Mourre recently about the wonderful product she has brought to the marketplace, Medixbase, I kept thinking about our friends.    We can’t plan for sudden acute illness.  We can prepare for it, though.

Medixbase is that perfect tool to help you, your family or even your employees be prepared for medical emergencies.  It’s as important as insurance.

Michelle Mourre has been an ICU nurse for many years.  It is nurses like her who care for the very ill, nurture families through catastrophic events and see first hand the inadequacies of patient records.  A patient’s history of illness or allergic reactions or surgeries or daily medications, these can’t be known unless the patient or a family member has the information to share.

Michelle saw a need and she now offers a solution for the inadequacies of our current healthcare record keeping system.  Your medical history is yours and doesn’t have to be locked away in the paper or computer files of 10 different providers.  Medixbase is the perfect answer to the complex question of how to keep your records organized, readily accessible, and up to date.

If you’re young and healthy, emergency providers need to know that.  If you have severe allergies or important daily medications, providers need to know that.  On a business trip to Boise and involved in an accident-no one around and you are unconscious?

Let’s not forget the older person who takes a multitude of medications and has too numerous to count medical conditions.  They too, want to let providers have access to the important details of their medical life.  Records that are up to date, even as we age, are an invaluable tool.  Have you tried to get a shot record lately?

Medixbase To the Rescue

Recently launched, Medixbase offers innovative, secure methods to help you take charge of your medical history.  You put in the data through the easy to use system, update as needed and have permanent access to your data.  In your wallet you’ll carry a card with a pin number, allowing EMT’s or trauma nurses or other providers immediate access to your allergies or medications or medical conditions.  The information in Medixbase readily interfaces with the existing hospital or provider electronic systems.

“I have seen so many families over the years struggling to cope with the overwhelming circumstances of emergency care.  They are never prepared to accurately compile and relay the data that providers need in order to give the best  care for their loved ones.” says Michelle.

  • The names of medications and dosages?
  • Allergies?
  • Surgeries?
  • Results of your last CT Scan?

Whether the event is trauma or sudden onset medical, families are not very good historians, and often patients are not able to assist,”  Michelle lamented.  ”Patients and their families have enough to worry about when tragedy occurs, I am so proud to offer something that can help relieve one of their burdens.”

It enjoyed talking to Michelle.  She’s a passionate nurse entrepreneur who is making a difference.  She works hard as a nurse and as an advocate for quality patient care.

When she’s not at the bedside or in front of a group speaking on patient issues, she’s an avid horsewoman.  She participates in horse shows and keeps several horses in the barn near her home.  She is dedicated to providing a warm and caring home for her teen age daughter.

I urge you to see what Medixbase can do for you.  It’s a great tool to enhance healthcare delivery.

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Active Listening: Can You Improve?

Thursday, August 9th, 2012

Active Listening: What is that?

What would happen in your world if you would just listen?

Not listening with one ear, while having this internal conversation with yourself: “hmm I wonder what we are having for dinner? Was I supposed to bring something home?” I know there’s something I’m forgetting….” while your co-worker is discussing the latest policy changes and how it’s affected their life.

We all do it. We are all experts of nodding our head, saying uh huh.  We get caught though.  It’s usually pretty easy to spot someone who’s not paying attention.

Better Listening: Would It Help YOU?

Can You HEAR Me???

What would better listening do for you?

Would your life be better if you had:

  • Fewer misunderstandings with your boss.
  • Fewer misunderstandings with your patients or clients.
  • Fewer misunderstandings with your partner/spouse/children.

One of the top complaints from patients in my medical practice is too much stress.  I wonder how much of life stress could be resolved if we all concentrated on truly listening to each other?

  • If you understood your spouse better, your relationship would be stronger-fewer battles.
  • If you really knew what your bosses wanted from you, you would be more successful at work. Can you say “promotion?”
  • If you really knew what was bothering your patients or clients and could deal with their concerns,  or at least empathize with them, you would be more fulfilled.

I know I’ve convinced you.

You want to be a better listener.  You’re thinking: “Yes, Dr Dean. How do I get better at listening?”

Steps to an MBA in Listening

In the beginning, the best way to become a better listener is to focus on the person with whom you are talking.

If you’re having an in-person conversation, take a slow deep breath and look that person in the eye.  Alternate looking at one eye then the other. This tells the other person you are engaged with them. They have your full attention.

This will allow them to relax a little and maybe become less anxious themselves. We all want to be appreciated and heard and if your body language confirms your total presence- communication will improve.

If you are on the phone this is harder.  You have to use verbal signs that tell them you are engaged.  This means verbal clues, such as “I see” or hmm, or laugh at the appropriate time.  When the person asks: “Are you still there?” then you know you are losing this battle.

The next step is to show the person you understand what they are saying.  The best way to do this is to paraphrase what they told you.

“I think what you’re saying is, you feel the nurse manager doesn’t appreciate your having two kids in diapers and there are times when you have to stay home unexpectedly to care for them.  Is that right?”

Maybe they’ll respond with “Nah, I’m just pissed ’cause my husband thinks I’m the one who should stay home when the kids are sick.   It’s not really my bosses problem, she is just needing the work to get done. I get that.”

Or maybe they are truly mad at the boss.  The only way to  know is to paraphrase or restate their views and ask, “Is this what you mean?”

This will help you with all your interpersonal relationships.

This will come in handy, I promise.  The next time your partner is telling you about something stressful at their job.  They may say, “That June is such a bitch.  Why doesn’t she ever let me have first choice on which holiday to have off?”

Instead of saying, “That damn June, why don’t you just tell her where to go!” and getting an eyeroll  and maybe the finger….  Maybe try something like: “Are you saying June treats you different from everyone else?”

Her problem may really be that she hates her career and would rather be working from home.  If you don’t ask the second or third clarifying question, you may not understand this is a career crisis rather than just a gripe about the boss.

This takes practice.  Get in the habit of using terms like, “What I hear you saying is …….” or “I think you are really concerned/worried/stressed about ABC, is that right?”

If you are constantly having problems with people, this may be your problem, not theirs.

Practice active listening and see what it can do for you.  Did you hear me?

Reader questions:

Have you practiced active listening yourself?   Are you good at it?  Or do you pretend to listen while watching WWF fight to the death rematch number 300?

Dr Dean

{photo credit: orange_beard c.c.}

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