You married the love of your life.  Everything is seen through the “rose colored glasses” of bliss.  Getting to really know a new person.

A few months later, many couples find crumbs in their bed…

What do I mean?   Well, the credit card bills start to come in, and they are way more than one spouse is expecting.

How bout this scenario:   “What is this bill from  John’s Sporting Goods?”

“Oh, they had a new 300 magnum with walnut stock, been looking for that rifle for several years for my collection.”  “Let  me show it to you, it’s a beaut ain’t it…”

“But is was 500 bucks, and we hadn’t talked about a new gun, you already have 25 stuffed  in various closets-I don’t hardly have room for all my shoes!!!!”  Or you can tell the story the other way around, substituting shoes for the gun….

So what do most couples do when they get married, when it comes to money?  Nothing. Nada…

So how do you keep from making these mistakes?  Mistakes  that over time, become resentments, that keep the divorce lawyers in gravy.

First-and sometimes most difficult, is having discussion about finances before the marriage.  Financial counseling should be  a big part of pre-marital counseling.

What do you talk about?

• amount of debt being brought into the marriage, if you have an old uncollected debt that will catch up to you when you are trying to buy your first home-get it all out on the table.
• your money habits-do you normally pay your bills on time, how organized are you, how often do you pay over-draft or late fees?
• Do you have life insurance, health insurance, what benefits are available in your company vs the new spouses?
• Do you have hobbies that require ongoing investments-and how flexible are you about changing if that hobby doesn’t match the budget.
• If you have an ex, have all the financial ties been settled.  Does your ex still have access to any of you accounts-is your name still on any of her cards, or vice versa…..
• Make sure you talk about common goals, and how you will reach them-such as buying a home, saving for college, amount of savings for retirement.

The secret  for financial compatibility, is to get on the same page if possible-or at least in the same chapter.  If one of you is reading a financial fantasy novel, and the other a non-fiction spreadsheet-then trouble looms ahead, unless you talk it out.

Being married can provide you with money savings, tax benefits-so make sure you check on things like changing your car insurance, health insurance, beneficiaries on life, health and disability policies.

I think most couples need to jointly participate in planning their monthly spending-take an hour each month to decide what is coming in, and where its going.  I think joint accounts are better-so there is less chance for surprises when it comes to money problems.

So don’t let money mess with your marriage.  Talk about it, plan about it, make your money work for you.

And if you need help-that is what we are here for.  Get started on your financial marital counseling service today-by signing up for our newsletter-”The Millionaire Nurse Money Letter” . You will get a free e-Book on “Emergency Money Resuscitation” and a mini-course on financial management.

And if you have any marital money stories you can share, let us hear from you.  We all need to keep learning.